“We
want freedom. But we can’t have too much of a good thing. At some point, we
have to draw a line, agree on some rules or all we have is chaos. I’ve realized
that our generation should figure out when freedom stops being a blessing and
starts being a curse. Though the act can be an individual decision in every
case but it seems that humans given absolute freedom don’t do a very good job
in choosing limits.”
I’ve
known her for years and I never thought it would end up like this. How did she
transform from an angel into a monster?
She
walked straight all her life; she followed the rules, stayed within the lines,
then at one point, made a misstep. This is her story where crossing limits
brought her limitless potential to explore the world as she started down a path
from which it is very difficult and sometimes impossible to return.
She
was Mia, my best buddy since high school. She was a quite girl, brilliant and
full of life. She was blessed with many gifts and took none for granted. She was
beautiful inside and out. At seventeen, she had done many things that led her
into spotlight. She was popular- a great cheerleader, women’s volleyball
captain and campus model. She was also a university scholar like me but I
focused myself on joining academic organizations like school publication and
debate team. All went smoothly but not until our second year in college. There
was a sudden change. Because of our different schedules, we haven’t much time
together.
Until
that one afternoon, I hurriedly entered the coffee shop and glanced over the
people inside. I easily spotted my best friend and directed my way towards her.
I shouted her name and gave her a powerful hug. She returned my embrace and
smiled sheepishly with my childish action. She looked tensed and pale. From her
expressions, I smelled something wrong. I was about to start the conversation
when she howled into tears.
“I
messed up Kath! I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to end this bullshit. I never
meant to cause trouble, never. You know that Kath.”
After
that, she left me hanging there. I couldn’t digest her words. I was paralyzed.
I wanted to run after her, but I couldn’t move. I didn’t understand.
Next
morning, I felt relieved when I saw her name on my phone screen.
“Kath…
I’m so sorry. I really messed up. I know you happened to meet my Psychology
professor, Tim right? You knew him. We’ve been in a relationship for almost two
months now. I didn’t know how it all started, but it happened. I love him Kath.
I couldn’t explain my feelings. I know what you’re thinking now. He’s a family
man but he told me he was not happy anymore. He loves me. He promised me that
we’d leave the town. Maybe you’re thinking I’m insane, but hell no, I’m not. I
just fell in love. I know it wasn’t right, but I couldn’t just stop my
feelings. I’m sorry for not telling you this. I’d plan to but fears came
rushing through me. I hope you understand. Sorry! I love you Kath. I really
do.”
Again,
I was paralyzed. Thoughts were racing into my mind. I was lost with words for
few seconds. I was about to call her when another message popped up on my
phone. The message made me froze. It felt like cold water was poured down at
me.
She’s
gone. Mia’s gone. Suddenly, hot fluids started to blur my eyes. I found out
that she didn’t left any suicidal note before taking those pills. The news
about Mia was like a bolt of thunder striking swiftly. Everyone in the campus
felt sorry for her, though some wondered why she ended up on killing herself.
She was a great loss in the university. But that was before the result of
autopsy came out. She was three weeks pregnant. People called her slut. They
keep on asking who the father was. I felt crushed with those things that
happened. They would probably give worst comments if they found out the truth.
Tears
came like a rainstorm. Part of me felt responsible to her death. I should have
helped her. But one clear realization shot through my mind, sometimes, people
don’t do a really good job in choosing limits especially if it involves love,
so full of love, even if that means losing everything likelosing your own life.
